Soccer Struggles of a Non-Soccer Player

Everyone, let us take a moment to imagine me playing soccer.

Are you laughing? Because I am cracking up.

I was a basketball player, a softball player, a track and field thrower. Hell, I even used to be a sprinter for a brief period of time. But never, ever was I a soccer player. My eye/foot coordination just doesn't line up and I knew this for awhile now. Which is probably why I never even tried soccer or felt any desire to associate with the sport at all. I like to try new things but I hate doing things I am not good at. I'm sure you can understand that a little bit. 

Well when my friend Brandy asked me to play in a soccer league with her I said, "Sure!" This reaction was produced for three reasons.

1. Brandy was my new friend at the time and I knew she loved soccer. So I wanted to be cool and play alongside her.

2. I'm a "Yes" person (as we all know at this point from my other post, haha) so I tend to respond to things positively before I entirely consider what they mean. 

3. Commitment and I have always had a weird relationship and we are never on the same page regarding how committing to things and then them actually materializing coincides. We can just add that to the list of things I'll never learn.

So when last Wednesday rolled around, we can fairly assume I was not looking forward to playing. I was preparing for embarrassment and sitting on the sidelines. And while the former didn't exactly happen...the latter never did. 

Brandy had told me there had to be three girls on the field at all times. Fine, just fine because I imagined their would be more than three girls! But as we walked up to the field, the first thing I did was count the girls. Two. Two girls. No one else was coming and I just realized I'd be playing the whole game.

I laughed out loud, shook my head, and told Brian I had never felt more out of place than I did right then. And that is including my time at the BSU dance I went to in college. 

We were a little bit late (surprise, surprise) getting to the game, so we literally ran straight onto the field. I HAD NO IDEA WHERE TO GO. When I say I don't know how to play soccer, I mean I have no idea what the positions are or how you move on the field. So Brandy yelled out to me, "You're gonna play up top. You're gonna score goals."

Haha! If you say so, Brandy.

So I'm running around, avoiding the ball and someone on the other team scores. Good for them! But apparently when you score in soccer everyone goes back to their own sides? Not me! I tried playing someone. That made everyone laugh. And I felt like I was fully out of the closet. What a relief. Now we all know I can't play and I don't have to pretend.

There was a girl on the other team that was very sweet and told me where to go. I laughed, said thank you, and told her I had no idea what I was doing. She said "I know" and laughed with me. Leave it to me to befriend our opponents. 

I wasn't as embarrassed as you'd think, because you live and you learn. And now I wouldn't make that mistake again. You guys should come watch me play in the last game, I bet I'll be bending it like Beckham. 

In basketball when you yell "Time" it means "Time Out". In case you were wondering, soccer isn't the same. EVERYONE kept yelling this and all I could think was "What the hell! Why will no one stop?" Well, Self... no one stopped because they were telling one another to "take their time" not asking for a time out.  Jeez, kids need to speak more clearly. 

One thing that kept troubling me was that I couldn't figure out if they were playing Zone or Man-to-Man. I guess, neither. But thinking like a basketball player made me feel better out there because I knew there was somewhere else that I could excel and thus, my life was not always about being a misfit on a soccer field. 

Luckily, some teammates (whom I never met before) told me where to go and what to focus on. It is amazing how little people need to look out for someone else. Oh you are wearing the same color shirt as me? Let me guide you! Humanity at it's finest. Or, at least a fine aspect of humanity.

At one point the ball was kicked into the woods. We had to pause for like 3 minutes for someone to go and retrieve it. At this point, I was tired. Because sadly I am not as in shape as the beautiful soccer players around me. So I embraced the break and almost hoped it would become an episode of Bones in the woods. Is that awful? Well, it was a brief thought anyway. I used to be an athlete so as the game went on I was having fun and putting in effort. That being said, I was glad they found the ball and nothing else.

A lot of the players seemed like hardcore athletes. One stuck out to me a lot, mainly because his hair was so big and his calves so muscled. Coincidentally, two nights later we saw him at a bar. I told Brian, "That is the kid we noticed at the soccer game!!" He said he didn't think it was him. Naturally, I said "I'm gonna go find out." Sure enough, we played this fella in soccer and his friends and mine all mingled for the evening to become pals by the end. 

I have another game tonight...

I think I will stick to my "Run at people to make them think I can play but just enough that they mess up and one of my teammates can take the ball" approach.

Ten Fun Things to do Before You Die.

I am currently reading a book called "Ten Fun Things to do Before You Die" by a nun named Karol Jackowski. It's brief, it's humorous, and it is real.

It has inspired me to make a list of my own, that may or may not change (most likely will) throughout my life. It's fun and it is also aligned in no specific order other than the way my brain came up with it.

Try your own list and tell me what you put on it. The unexamined life is not worth living, so tell me what you've examined about your own =]

1. Eat cheesecake while taking a bubble bath. I have recently done this. I stand by it's extraordinary power to demolish the bad things that happened earlier in your day... however, I suppose you could do this in the morning. I'm more of a savory person in the morning myself, but if you're into the sweet side of the AM than I suggest trying this out then rather than at the end of the day.
2. Cut your own hair. At least once. It's your damn hair and I cannot tell you how empowering it is to style and perhaps even abuse it by yourself.
3. Run until you puke. I understand this one may have some opposing viewpoints but it is still going to remain on my list. There is something to be said about pushing your body to its literal limit. There are a lot of metaphors for this concept but I say physically make it happen. Your blood will be pumping, your skin will be on fire, your stomach in unrest, and your mind satisfied.
4. Play hookie.  I am never on time. Even if I am running on time I will find a little chore to do to make me late. I don't understand it. I guess there is a deeper unconscious desire to be waited for rather than waiting for someone else. But such is life. We all have weird brain operations that we can't articulate. Anyway, that is a subtle way of playing hookie. Being expected somewhere and not being there. It is also called being an asshole so I am working on it. But this point was really to advise playing hookie for an entire day. Make it yours. Do whatever you want. Eat whatever you want. Call whomever you want. And enjoy.
5. Eavesdrop in a public place. This is one of my favorite hobbies. I don't do it to be a creep or make fun of people but rather to observe the everyday things that make up other people's lives. I find it fascinating. It is like watching all of those artsy films and plays that narrowly observe the normalcies of one person or family. The mundaneness of life is poetic when it isn't yours. I suggest recognizing that and appreciating that.
6. Aggressively avoiding something you hate. Know what you don't like and don't settle on putting up with it. This could be big or small. For example, I hate onions. I hate putting up with their horrible clear selves that "you can barely taste." I'm just not into it and I firmly let people know this about me. I also don't like sleeping with only one pillow. I always have an extra pillow with me, literally. I have a panda pillow in the backseat of my car. You could say this is high maintenance or you could say I know the key things I need to make me happy and I want to be happy.
7. Pray. You don't have to believe in God to pray. You can believe in karma or wind even and still pray. I personally believe in all three. Praying puts things in perspective and releases you from worldly troubles that lack value and places true value on the spiritual things that deserve it. Let quiet meditation invade your body and mind for just a little bit every day. You will see a difference. You will see better.
8. Pick favorites. Everyone says you should treat all the same. No. I think you should reward those people and things that make your day better. Treat them as the gift they are. Pick favorites but still acknowledge all.
9. Trust your instincts. Plain and simple. Question and understand why you have an innate feeling to do something but trust it all the same. It is natural and it is telling. Don't wait to find out if it is right by letting something go wrong. The same way my unconscious makes me late is also the same way my gut instinct has kept me from car accidents and broken hearts. These things are not coincidences.
10. Work hard at what comes easily. The things that come easily are the things that are easy to sweep under the rug.  I am a good writer. It comes easily to me. I don't write enough because of this though and so I don't have much to show for being a good writer (or at least as much as I could). My friend Sara is an amazing singer and she sings all the time. My friend Lynn is an amazing baker and she bakes all the time. They are some of my favorites and I'm proud to recognize their talent. Find and be proud of what you're good at and don't avoid training it as best you can. That which we don't use, we lose.

Now some of these may be wildly specific but details are what make things what they are, right?

This list will change tomorrow but I can know what I valued today, May 7th 2014, when I am 70 years old.

Say Yes.

No, not to the dress.

Say "Yes." Say "Hell yes." If you say "No", ask yourself: "Is my reason for saying no good enough?" And then when you answer "No"... say

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Jack from "Lost" is a doer even when he doesn't wanna. 

I have always thought of myself as a Yes-person but when I look back over the past couple years, I realize how much I said No. There were multiple reasons for this but the main ones were that I suddenly thought I was "too old" or "too busy" to do a single thing worth living for. I am 23 and work part-time jobs. WHO AM I KIDDING? I am young and free!

So I decided to say a big FU to that mindset.

If there are people I want to see that live far away, I will go see them now because they are good people and it is worth it.

If there is a shirt I want that is a little more expensive than one I don't want... I will buy it because I can always earn more money.

If there is time to walk another mile, I will walk it because God gave me two healthy legs and what the hell else am I gonna do with my time?

And you know what this mentality has gotten for me?

1. A new job! -- I went into a fantastic breakfast cafe with Brian and the hostess apologized for the wait. I said, "No worries. I worked at Ida's* for a couple years so I understand." The lovely hostess said, "Really? Ida's? Are you working anywhere else right now?"

In that moment I could have said "Yes. I work at a library." Boom, end of story. But I had been thinking I needed another job. I also had been thinking Wow, I don't want to be a librarian. And I realized that I make good money waiting tables and I have fun with it!! What a novel idea! So great, I tried libraries and they aren't for me. Why should I continue pursuing that path just because it looks good on my resume since I have an English degree? I shouldn't. Because honestly, it makes me hate people and I really do want to like people.

You may be surprised that I hate people more from working in a library than I do from waiting tables. But actually, I find people are at ease when they are out for breakfast and people at ease are usually fairly easy to be around. But in a library! Oh jeez! In a library people need questions answered and problems solved! And frankly, some of the questions and problems they need help with make me feel like there is no hope in humanity. You mean you can't figure out how to log out of Facebook on your own? You press "print" to print. No, you can't just make up an email out of thin air and insert it into the sweepstakes expecting to be notified.**

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But regardless! I told the hostess "I'm not waiting tables anywhere else. Are you hiring?" I then ate some pancakes, emailed her the next day, got a job the next week. Yes.

2. A new roommate! -- My good friend Neil(ski) is a nomad of sorts. A real gentleman after my own heart. He gets to travel around for jobs and works different ones all the time. Well, his most recent venture brought him back to Lancaster. It is a fairly brief gig, about five weeks. Neil asked if Brian and I would be willing to put him up for some of that time while he does this job. There I was with my good friend in need of a helping hand. There I was with an extra bedroom mainly used for an elliptical and my "stuffed" Panda having a place to sleep.

"YES. Come stay with us!" What is the worst that could happen? I get annoyed? I get annoyed at everything, so really there is no problem. Now, we have a dear friend helping to make the coffee and buy the bananas. Yes.

3. Real, deep down EXCITEMENT. -- This new attitude is helping me reconnect with old friends that I've lost touch with. I am no longer wondering how they're doing! I ask myself everyday, is there someone in my past that is so damn awesome I want to bring them back into my life? And if there is, I TALK TO THEM. It's simple. And I've found, other people are waiting for this too. I have yet to talk to an old friend that didn't want to talk to me. I also make new friends! I've stopped feeling insecure about whether things will be awkward or unnatural. They are only so, if I make them so. TO be honest, I am still trying to be better with this but all good things take time. And all of this makes my life feel so much fuller and happier. And if there is a person that doesn't want to talk to me? That's okay too, because I wasn't the one that said "No."

Life is meant to be exciting and new and full of different experiences with genuine people. It is the sole reason God made us. And if you question that... why do you think people always arrive at the stop sign at the same time? People are supposed to interact! So don't just grumble on through it.

TO YOU: Go say yes to something. Whether it be finding a fun job, reconnecting with old friends, or just doing a handful of sit-ups. I promise you, you will feel better if you do. And if you want help... I'm already saying yes ;]

* The cafe I worked at during college that was the busiest place in the world. Hustlin' and bustlin' in the 21st century.
** There are some good things to working in a library. I am introduced to way more topics than I'd ever think to look into and helping people does feel good a lot of the time.

In Defense of "Cheesy" Love...

... Because We All Love Cheese, Admit it.

Today is my 3 year anniversary with my boyfriend. In the past, my good friend Kristen and I have had conversations about anniversaries. She once told me that her Aunt and Uncle don't really celebrate birthdays but they always celebrate anniversaries. Because anniversaries take work.

If you stay alive, you get another birthday. If you go through hell and never let go of someone else's hand, you get another anniversary. I think, that MAYBE there seems to be a difference there.

What triggered this entry is the fact that I posted (on Facebook) a beautiful line from the poet Pablo Neruda with a small nod to Brian, in honor of our three years of ups and downs. Because through it all, we're still holding hands. You may think that I could have put this in a card to just him. You are perfectly right. In fact, I hesitated putting anything on Facebook because of how offended people seem to get from "sappy" affection. But I did it anyway. Partly, because I like to make those people squirm but mostly because I've been sad before. I've been lonely and depressed. I've been wanting. And Brian has taken those things away despite how much, at times, I fought to keep them.

I think people are afraid to admit the same. They stay an arms length away from those affections, to keep from admitting that we, as humans, do truly desire someone to share this time with. I used to be like that. Which is why it took two long years for Brian and I to admit (at the same time) that it was right. This was right.

Only a few minutes later after I posted my status, someone posted a collage of their significant other for his/her birthday. With said collage was the phrase, "Don't worry, nothing sappy here..." Or something along those lines. I couldn't help but laugh because a picture is worth 1,000 words. And this person posted a collage. That's a lot more sappy words than I just wrote. And mine was for an anniversary!

Granted, Brian and I may be a little cheesier than the next couple. But it is who we are and it is probably why we're dating one another and not people in other relationships.

I like to tell people how I feel. That includes how proud I am to say that I've been in a relationship for 3 years. And with everything that tried and almost did break us up, we stayed together. I love him and I wanted to make him feel special and tell people that's how I feel.

My parents have been married for almost 35 years. That means they've been together for more than that. Shit. That takes work. And I've watched them work. And I've watched them laugh. And I've watched my family grow because of their clutched hands. And I'm proud of them for that. In fact, I'm proud of any couple that stays together. Relationships can be exhausting but they can be everything else at the same time too.

In addition, why can we post friendship love but intimate love is frowned upon? Is it so we don't offend the lonely? I guess this just confuses me because the friendless can be lonely too. So I suppose the real question should be, should we express love at all?

Probably not, that'd be too happy a world to live in.

So, any of you have relationships (friends or family or significant others) you're proud of? Why? I'd love to hear. Let's get sappy.

I Hate These Burned Lines.

I felt like writing creatively, which I do too little anymore. So this is some automatic writing from this afternoon that I'd like to share. The title is a bit playful but there is a lot of double meaning to be appreciated. Enjoy :]
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We held hands before and every tense was present-- every tense was perfect. A grammatically correct conjunction but it had no plot. The genre was not mystery, it was not history. The subject was poetry and it's verse fell into an ellipsis.

We are constantly told to omit run-on sentences, and yet it is the only way to streamline our thoughts, our feelings. Tell your story without personal pronouns. Define yourself as someone else, as "one." But what if you are "one of two"?

Write out numbers if they're low enough. Make them be something else if there isn't a lot of them. Hide in the paragraph and fill your body with complexity. Strain your mind for someone else's benefit. But still be clear, direct. No run-ons. Every line needs to be a full sentence. That is our sentence.

There is an escape. To ride the rhyme and flee from structure. Free. I am not iambic. I am not predictable. I see beauty in the timing of words that match. Quick! Light it and blaze your speech. Because it burns from both ends. My heart and yours. Our hands are a match and it's striking. The spark strikes and words form days from now, years before.  Burn away complexity, what is still in store?

A Night as Jack Dawson

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that most people have seen Titanic. If not, I suggest doing so because this post will make a little bit more sense if you have.

That being said, you remember the dinner scene that Jack is "rewarded" with dinner after saving Rose's life from her initial suicide and then from her clumsy near demise? And you know how uncomfortable that scene is to watch with all the bad looks and completely obvious caste system at hand? Pure smugness and hypocrisy.

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That was my New Year's Eve. And I was Jack Dawson.

You might be wondering how I could have lived this night in today's society as I am a suburban white girl and I spent the evening with my suburban white boyfriend. However, I was in a very unique situation that demanded I call on all of my Catholic school moral lessons and survival skills.

I was at Brian's ex-girlfriend's family party. WHAAT.

She was anything but the reason we were there, however her brother happens to be Brian's best friend and New Year's Eve was his engagement party. We originally were not going to attend as it fell on such a specific night and we had made other plans to celebrate the New Year. However, I knew Brian really deep down wanted to be there for his friend.
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Let's backpedal to a little less than two and a half years ago. Brian had just graduated from college and so did his best friend. His best friend threw a graduation party and we attended. This party was also at their house and I was also without people that would be considered "my people." This doesn't seem so bad because I had Brian, right? Except he grew up coming over to this house and being at parties with the extended family. I can understand this because I too have a best friend whom I spent time with at her house and with her extended family. The difference is I never dated anyone in her family.

The graduation party was bad for me, mainly because Brian and I had only been together a few months at the time and I was incredibly nervous and intimidated. So I may have had a couple drinks before I got there. And I may or may not have continued drinking whilst in their company. I also may or may not be an emotional drunk and picked a fight with Brian saying he fit into their family so well he should just go be with them. (It is amazing that he has stuck with me through this kind of behavior, I must admit.) Anyway, my point is we had been in this situation before and it was not easy for me.

In addition, the only time I have ever hung out with Brian's best friend was at that first party. He lives far away and is a perpetual student so it's hard to get together. So I tend to connect him with his sister whenever he is brought up. Which I hate doing because he is just fine in my book. She is not. Not just because she is Brian's ex. Exes exist and that is quite normal, I'm not a child. However, she has made her own bed when it comes to my feelings. Let's call her Cal.

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Okay, back to New Year's Eve. Despite my strong feelings towards being in that house, I knew Brian is an amazing friend and I couldn't be the reason he wasn't at the engagement party. Granted, I thought there'd be more friends and less family but as we know, Jack can't have it all.

So we go to the party to surprise him and we do! His face is priceless when we walk in and I'm immediately happy we came. I'm not as happy that we underdressed and brought a bottle of rum in a plastic bag. This just assisted the family in their caste assumptions about us. But I guess we have a different set of party rules. So be it.

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Oh and Brian's ex is a triplet with two brothers. One of which Brian is also good friends with. Bridget had a friend at the party too, her name was Sangria.

Initially all is fine, we chat about various topics with people and there is a caricature for guests to sign. Brian asks what to write so I come up with something poetic and lasting. But being that I'm a writer in a house of doctors and all... no one understands it. A poet's dream.

Then we play a game called "Everybody Put Your Resolution on Paper and Then We Will Guess Who Wrote It," (patent pending.) Now, let's remember... NO ONE KNOWS ME. And I don't want to write anything personal because frankly, I don't want them to know me. So I chose to write "Wake up everyday like it's on purpose." Perhaps that was a mistake.

As soon as mine is read, people laugh stating things like "What, do you usually wake up dead?" Or something along those lines. Again, my words are lost on this crowd. A writer's goal.

Welp, of course no one guesses it is me. So I get entered into a drawing for a prize. I win. The prize is a bottle of wine. Which came in handy later that week when I had to bring a gift to my work's Christmas party! There was no way I was drinking that poison ;]

The night continued and I made friends with the grandpa. He was a car salesman and a basketball coach... and he is tall and bald. So he reminded me of my Dad. Which helped put me a bit more at ease.

When we go to watch the ball drop, we all pile into the den and I am unable to see the TV, instead I see the behind versions of these strangers. Luckily, I'm feeling pretty good by this point and I'm next to Brian so it is a nice moment. Moments after midnight I call my parents. Whatsherface decides to go around hugging everybody at this point, including myself as I'm trying to have a nice time talking to my parents. Roughly, the hug feels like floating in cold Atlantic water. But maybe not AS bad.

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To end the night, some of us decided to play games. The game chosen was a game I had never seen before involving numbers and betting. Basically, how many miles between NYC and LA? Then you bet on the guess you think is the closest. It wasn't my style. But at least the night was proving consistent.

I had stopped drinking by this point but the effects were still there. In my mind, everyone had these effects. Sure enough, it was mainly just me and Brian. Let's just say, I'm positive the bad looks continued at the game table.

Finally around 2 am, Brian's dad picked us up and we went back to his parent's house. The following morning, his dad cooked me breakfast and I talked with him until Brian's mom got home from church and joined us. Once Brian, his brother, and his brother's lady woke up, we played Taboo and watched deer in the yard.

It felt good to be back with the true upper-class.

Do Things Right Before You're Ready.

Getting older is weird. I don't think I have ever noticed time passing until after turning 21. And that may be one of the saddest confessions I have ever stated.

I don't think it's because 21 and the rights it brought along were the be-all, end-all for me. I think it's more the fact that we are raised with certain ages standing out from others and the distinct ones are passed after age 21. But we forget to remember there will be an age for when we get married, have a child, visit our favorite country. These are ages that are unique to our lives rather than an age we're told is important by the government. That's pretty exciting.

I have been toying with a major life decision for the past month and it has been tearing my mind and heart apart. I had toyed with the idea of moving to Lancaster with Brian for some time and impulsively applied for an apartment while spending the day out there in August. To our pleasure, we got the apartment. This seemed perfect when I was writing from home for a freelancing job. (Oh, have I mentioned that? It's over now. Because I didn't want to jinx it. I guess that worked out... It's okay, I knew it wasn't for me and I'm okay with it.)

Anyway, after quitting the writing job I was in need of some money and went back to waiting tables. Oddly enough, the cafe had a managerial type position available and it was offered to me. If you know my love of breakfast, small businesses, and early ends to work days... than this seems like a great idea for me, right? However my heart was set on Lancaster.

Lancaster is a risk, of course. But I think my life needs one. Time is passing. And having had a plan my entire life up until I graduated college was great until I graduated college. Since then I've been kicking my feet until life happens. But I realize now that that is not the way life works. You gotta move.

So as I'm constantly pulled between passion and logic (seriously, I'd rather just lean one way or the other because being in-between makes everyday somewhat a challenge), it has taken me a long time of talking and ranting and committing to a different choice everyday to finally arrive at the decision to move.

Every person I have talked to in regards to this, whether it be at my jobs or amongst friends or family, can attest to the sanity I have lost in the process. But you know what? It feels pretty good on this side and for once I'm not thinking every second of the day about things that do not need that much thought. It's freeing. And you know what? That's pretty exciting too.


Am I ready to move? Not totally. That'd be too easy. My family is very close and I'd be the furthest away again out of all of us. So I'd miss out on things. I love my room at home. I love my backyard. I love the memories. But there are a lot of things that are not the same and I have to remember that, which I often do not. It's kinda like breaking up with someone but still being attached because you're forgetting that things aren't what they used to be. It isn't easy. But you go on. And once you realize the truth of it all, things aren't so bad. That's where I'm at with living at home right now.

HENCE MY NEW MENTALITY: Do things right before you're ready.

There will never be a "perfect moment." Not for anything. So if you're just about ready to do something, do it.

Once I took a good look at some of the best decisions and most memorable moments in my life, I realized a lot of them happened because I was just about ready to do them but they happened a moment sooner than expected.

When I was 17, I had no desire to get my license. I can't remember why. Maybe it scared me. Maybe it wasn't totally necessary since I was the youngest of most of my friends and the youngest of my family. Maybe I procrastinate a lot. Who knows. Either way, my Dad picked me up from what I think was school one day and threw the permit book at me. "Study that. We're going to get your permit." HUH? Talk about not being ready. Granted, this was how I studied for a lot of my tests but this seemed a little too hasty, even to me.

After waiting in a hot, narrow hallway with strangers and my father for over an hour while staring at a book, I was a little spent. It came down to the last question. I can even remember the question. "Who has the right of way in a traffic circle?" This seems like an easy question*, but when you've already gotten 2 questions wrong and literally can not afford to get this wrong and it's the first day you've ever looked at the book, it's a bummer. Luckily enough, I passed! Boom, I was not ready but the universe was.

When I was 18, I went skydiving. It was with 10 friends and we were 2.5 miles in the sky in a small plane with no door. I volunteered to jump last. When I got to the door with my professional sky-diver/giant foreign man, he said "Are you ready?!" And as I looked down through the clouds, I saw a lot of people I knew falling fast... very, very fast. So I answered honestly, "NO!" He then replied "Too late." and immediately pushed us out the door into the most unreal experience I have ever had. Not a regret to be had.

As you may be able to relate, college came pretty fast. I had always dreamt of living away at school but the days before it happened were still surreal. I cried. I smiled. I was again scared. But I met some of the most incredible people and had amazing experiences all because of the initial decision to move away. And here I am, 5 years later, anxious to get back to the town I fell in love with when I was a kid on her own for the first time.

So I could have taken the job at the cafe. Or I could take the leap, and hopefully build some wings on my way down.

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Also, this is one of my favorite quotes. So I have used it in blogs before.

*If it's not that easy, the answer is the cars already in the circle have the right of way. However, if you've ever driven in one... people really don't give a crap.