Neighborhoods

I've decided that neighborhoods are a breeding ground for awkward interactions.

Have you ever tried to go for a run or a walk in a neighborhood? Well, first off... don't even go for a walk unless you have someone with you. The amount of people who think that just because you're walking means you are fine with talking to them is outrageous.

If you are a lone shark or your family/roommates just refuse to go along with you, I'd suggest at least always have headphones on. Does your Ipod need to be on? Not at all. Do your headphones even have to be attached to anything? Nope. As long as you tuck that cord into your shirt, no one will know the difference. But you will. And that's power.

The other day I left to go for a run and started up my street, but unfortunately my ipod died immediately. Did I listen to my own advice and just wear the headphones? No, of course not. It's not like I enjoy running 3 miles without music. However, beggars can't be choosers so I dropped my ipod off at my house and started my run again.

I got to about the same point two houses up and realized there were about 10 people standing between me and the top of my street. Now let's remember, my street is a silent killer. It looks like a steady, slight incline-- and it is. But really, any beginning part of a run makes me look like I've never fully extended my legs before in my life. So I try to avoid any personal interaction until at least a quarter of a mile in when I get a rhythm going.

Also, the people I'd run by? SO MANY CHILDREN. And children stare. Heck, parents these days stare! My mom's anthem when we were little was "don't stare, it's not polite." Apparently that phrase can only be said in the universe so many times and thus, with today's plethora of staring, I can only imagine Momma Lynch must have maxed it out.

Google Images-Serious Running Blog
Roughly what I imagine happening when I see children while I'm running. 

So I knew that if I ran by them I'd feel their little eyes watch me as I fall up my street. Then add a lack of music to distract me? I knew I'd have to look over and smile. Their response would then just be more staring and their mothers would extend that fake pursed-lips smile... then probably go about their business. However, being that I think I'm the center of the neighborhood when I'm running, I would think they were watching me the rest of the time I was in their view. Awkward running would then follow as my shirt would continue to ride up. (I'm starting to become firmly against workout shirts, but that's another story.)

So I turn down my street to start running. To which I am greeted by my neighbor parking his massive truck while staring at me. By the time I got to him he would just be getting out of his truck and I'd again feel awkward. Furthermore, he made some comment the day before about my jumping jacks that I never fully heard and just smiled in response to... so I wasn't looking to have that happen again.

Also if I went down my street? I'd have to pass the house that I adamantly believe is haunted. And who wants to have an awkward interaction with a haunted house while just trying to get some exercise? Not Bridget.

I decided to just walk up my street. When I got to the top I realized there was a family of people outside, but not just any family. My old friend's family. So that's when I started running. Luckily, it was pretty painless getting by them except for the weird moment when I had 2 kids and 2 moms on one side of me and the family on the other. Where do I look then without A*Teens or New Found Glory to help me get me through it?

Alright, running has commenced. Time is passing. I'm singing to myself. All's well that ends well?

Not exactly. Running through my neighborhood during the summer also means passing tiny groups of tween gangs with nothing better to do. Or people coming home from work that smile at you from their car but all you see is a reflection until they're right next to you and then you're just prying into the privacy of their vehicle.

In addition, there's always the cars you meet at intersections having both arrived at the same time and both maintaining a state of confusion for about 3 seconds on which one of you will go first. Three seconds can be a long time, especially when you're bright red and out of breath. I'd avoid running at high traffic times at all costs just to lessen the chances of that occurrence.

Interactions with construction workers are usually just awkward to begin with. Throw running as a girl into the process? Ugh. Just ugh. That being said... avoid running in the afternoon when they're usually working or traveling about.

Thus it could be assumed that the best time to run in a neighborhood is at night. Which I used to do all the time. Until I went to college and I swear my neighborhood took more than half the street lights away. Which makes this town super spooky. And you can bet your bottom dollar I'm not passing that haunted house at night!

So I guess the only real option is running on trails. Which happen to be my favorite, so that works out. Or, ya know, just doing my jumping jacks in the backyard. Something I probably should have thought of to begin with.