Are you laughing? Because I am cracking up.
I was a basketball player, a softball player, a track and field thrower. Hell, I even used to be a sprinter for a brief period of time. But never, ever was I a soccer player. My eye/foot coordination just doesn't line up and I knew this for awhile now. Which is probably why I never even tried soccer or felt any desire to associate with the sport at all. I like to try new things but I hate doing things I am not good at. I'm sure you can understand that a little bit.
Well when my friend Brandy asked me to play in a soccer league with her I said, "Sure!" This reaction was produced for three reasons.
1. Brandy was my new friend at the time and I knew she loved soccer. So I wanted to be cool and play alongside her.
2. I'm a "Yes" person (as we all know at this point from my other post, haha) so I tend to respond to things positively before I entirely consider what they mean.
3. Commitment and I have always had a weird relationship and we are never on the same page regarding how committing to things and then them actually materializing coincides. We can just add that to the list of things I'll never learn.
So when last Wednesday rolled around, we can fairly assume I was not looking forward to playing. I was preparing for embarrassment and sitting on the sidelines. And while the former didn't exactly happen...the latter never did.
Brandy had told me there had to be three girls on the field at all times. Fine, just fine because I imagined their would be more than three girls! But as we walked up to the field, the first thing I did was count the girls. Two. Two girls. No one else was coming and I just realized I'd be playing the whole game.
I laughed out loud, shook my head, and told Brian I had never felt more out of place than I did right then. And that is including my time at the BSU dance I went to in college.
We were a little bit late (surprise, surprise) getting to the game, so we literally ran straight onto the field. I HAD NO IDEA WHERE TO GO. When I say I don't know how to play soccer, I mean I have no idea what the positions are or how you move on the field. So Brandy yelled out to me, "You're gonna play up top. You're gonna score goals."
Haha! If you say so, Brandy.
So I'm running around, avoiding the ball and someone on the other team scores. Good for them! But apparently when you score in soccer everyone goes back to their own sides? Not me! I tried playing someone. That made everyone laugh. And I felt like I was fully out of the closet. What a relief. Now we all know I can't play and I don't have to pretend.
There was a girl on the other team that was very sweet and told me where to go. I laughed, said thank you, and told her I had no idea what I was doing. She said "I know" and laughed with me. Leave it to me to befriend our opponents.
I wasn't as embarrassed as you'd think, because you live and you learn. And now I wouldn't make that mistake again. You guys should come watch me play in the last game, I bet I'll be bending it like Beckham.
In basketball when you yell "Time" it means "Time Out". In case you were wondering, soccer isn't the same. EVERYONE kept yelling this and all I could think was "What the hell! Why will no one stop?" Well, Self... no one stopped because they were telling one another to "take their time" not asking for a time out. Jeez, kids need to speak more clearly.
One thing that kept troubling me was that I couldn't figure out if they were playing Zone or Man-to-Man. I guess, neither. But thinking like a basketball player made me feel better out there because I knew there was somewhere else that I could excel and thus, my life was not always about being a misfit on a soccer field.
Luckily, some teammates (whom I never met before) told me where to go and what to focus on. It is amazing how little people need to look out for someone else. Oh you are wearing the same color shirt as me? Let me guide you! Humanity at it's finest. Or, at least a fine aspect of humanity.
At one point the ball was kicked into the woods. We had to pause for like 3 minutes for someone to go and retrieve it. At this point, I was tired. Because sadly I am not as in shape as the beautiful soccer players around me. So I embraced the break and almost hoped it would become an episode of Bones in the woods. Is that awful? Well, it was a brief thought anyway. I used to be an athlete so as the game went on I was having fun and putting in effort. That being said, I was glad they found the ball and nothing else.
A lot of the players seemed like hardcore athletes. One stuck out to me a lot, mainly because his hair was so big and his calves so muscled. Coincidentally, two nights later we saw him at a bar. I told Brian, "That is the kid we noticed at the soccer game!!" He said he didn't think it was him. Naturally, I said "I'm gonna go find out." Sure enough, we played this fella in soccer and his friends and mine all mingled for the evening to become pals by the end.
I have another game tonight...
I think I will stick to my "Run at people to make them think I can play but just enough that they mess up and one of my teammates can take the ball" approach.
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