I don't think it's because 21 and the rights it brought along were the be-all, end-all for me. I think it's more the fact that we are raised with certain ages standing out from others and the distinct ones are passed after age 21. But we forget to remember there will be an age for when we get married, have a child, visit our favorite country. These are ages that are unique to our lives rather than an age we're told is important by the government. That's pretty exciting.
I have been toying with a major life decision for the past month and it has been tearing my mind and heart apart. I had toyed with the idea of moving to Lancaster with Brian for some time and impulsively applied for an apartment while spending the day out there in August. To our pleasure, we got the apartment. This seemed perfect when I was writing from home for a freelancing job. (Oh, have I mentioned that? It's over now. Because I didn't want to jinx it. I guess that worked out... It's okay, I knew it wasn't for me and I'm okay with it.)
Anyway, after quitting the writing job I was in need of some money and went back to waiting tables. Oddly enough, the cafe had a managerial type position available and it was offered to me. If you know my love of breakfast, small businesses, and early ends to work days... than this seems like a great idea for me, right? However my heart was set on Lancaster.
Lancaster is a risk, of course. But I think my life needs one. Time is passing. And having had a plan my entire life up until I graduated college was great until I graduated college. Since then I've been kicking my feet until life happens. But I realize now that that is not the way life works. You gotta move.
So as I'm constantly pulled between passion and logic (seriously, I'd rather just lean one way or the other because being in-between makes everyday somewhat a challenge), it has taken me a long time of talking and ranting and committing to a different choice everyday to finally arrive at the decision to move.
Every person I have talked to in regards to this, whether it be at my jobs or amongst friends or family, can attest to the sanity I have lost in the process. But you know what? It feels pretty good on this side and for once I'm not thinking every second of the day about things that do not need that much thought. It's freeing. And you know what? That's pretty exciting too.
Am I ready to move? Not totally. That'd be too easy. My family is very close and I'd be the furthest away again out of all of us. So I'd miss out on things. I love my room at home. I love my backyard. I love the memories. But there are a lot of things that are not the same and I have to remember that, which I often do not. It's kinda like breaking up with someone but still being attached because you're forgetting that things aren't what they used to be. It isn't easy. But you go on. And once you realize the truth of it all, things aren't so bad. That's where I'm at with living at home right now.
HENCE MY NEW MENTALITY: Do things right before you're ready.
There will never be a "perfect moment." Not for anything. So if you're just about ready to do something, do it.
Once I took a good look at some of the best decisions and most memorable moments in my life, I realized a lot of them happened because I was just about ready to do them but they happened a moment sooner than expected.
When I was 17, I had no desire to get my license. I can't remember why. Maybe it scared me. Maybe it wasn't totally necessary since I was the youngest of most of my friends and the youngest of my family. Maybe I procrastinate a lot. Who knows. Either way, my Dad picked me up from what I think was school one day and threw the permit book at me. "Study that. We're going to get your permit." HUH? Talk about not being ready. Granted, this was how I studied for a lot of my tests but this seemed a little too hasty, even to me.
After waiting in a hot, narrow hallway with strangers and my father for over an hour while staring at a book, I was a little spent. It came down to the last question. I can even remember the question. "Who has the right of way in a traffic circle?" This seems like an easy question*, but when you've already gotten 2 questions wrong and literally can not afford to get this wrong and it's the first day you've ever looked at the book, it's a bummer. Luckily enough, I passed! Boom, I was not ready but the universe was.
When I was 18, I went skydiving. It was with 10 friends and we were 2.5 miles in the sky in a small plane with no door. I volunteered to jump last. When I got to the door with my professional sky-diver/giant foreign man, he said "Are you ready?!" And as I looked down through the clouds, I saw a lot of people I knew falling fast... very, very fast. So I answered honestly, "NO!" He then replied "Too late." and immediately pushed us out the door into the most unreal experience I have ever had. Not a regret to be had.
As you may be able to relate, college came pretty fast. I had always dreamt of living away at school but the days before it happened were still surreal. I cried. I smiled. I was again scared. But I met some of the most incredible people and had amazing experiences all because of the initial decision to move away. And here I am, 5 years later, anxious to get back to the town I fell in love with when I was a kid on her own for the first time.
So I could have taken the job at the cafe. Or I could take the leap, and hopefully build some wings on my way down.
*If it's not that easy, the answer is the cars already in the circle have the right of way. However, if you've ever driven in one... people really don't give a crap.
I have been toying with a major life decision for the past month and it has been tearing my mind and heart apart. I had toyed with the idea of moving to Lancaster with Brian for some time and impulsively applied for an apartment while spending the day out there in August. To our pleasure, we got the apartment. This seemed perfect when I was writing from home for a freelancing job. (Oh, have I mentioned that? It's over now. Because I didn't want to jinx it. I guess that worked out... It's okay, I knew it wasn't for me and I'm okay with it.)
Anyway, after quitting the writing job I was in need of some money and went back to waiting tables. Oddly enough, the cafe had a managerial type position available and it was offered to me. If you know my love of breakfast, small businesses, and early ends to work days... than this seems like a great idea for me, right? However my heart was set on Lancaster.
Lancaster is a risk, of course. But I think my life needs one. Time is passing. And having had a plan my entire life up until I graduated college was great until I graduated college. Since then I've been kicking my feet until life happens. But I realize now that that is not the way life works. You gotta move.
So as I'm constantly pulled between passion and logic (seriously, I'd rather just lean one way or the other because being in-between makes everyday somewhat a challenge), it has taken me a long time of talking and ranting and committing to a different choice everyday to finally arrive at the decision to move.
Every person I have talked to in regards to this, whether it be at my jobs or amongst friends or family, can attest to the sanity I have lost in the process. But you know what? It feels pretty good on this side and for once I'm not thinking every second of the day about things that do not need that much thought. It's freeing. And you know what? That's pretty exciting too.
Am I ready to move? Not totally. That'd be too easy. My family is very close and I'd be the furthest away again out of all of us. So I'd miss out on things. I love my room at home. I love my backyard. I love the memories. But there are a lot of things that are not the same and I have to remember that, which I often do not. It's kinda like breaking up with someone but still being attached because you're forgetting that things aren't what they used to be. It isn't easy. But you go on. And once you realize the truth of it all, things aren't so bad. That's where I'm at with living at home right now.
HENCE MY NEW MENTALITY: Do things right before you're ready.
There will never be a "perfect moment." Not for anything. So if you're just about ready to do something, do it.
Once I took a good look at some of the best decisions and most memorable moments in my life, I realized a lot of them happened because I was just about ready to do them but they happened a moment sooner than expected.
When I was 17, I had no desire to get my license. I can't remember why. Maybe it scared me. Maybe it wasn't totally necessary since I was the youngest of most of my friends and the youngest of my family. Maybe I procrastinate a lot. Who knows. Either way, my Dad picked me up from what I think was school one day and threw the permit book at me. "Study that. We're going to get your permit." HUH? Talk about not being ready. Granted, this was how I studied for a lot of my tests but this seemed a little too hasty, even to me.
After waiting in a hot, narrow hallway with strangers and my father for over an hour while staring at a book, I was a little spent. It came down to the last question. I can even remember the question. "Who has the right of way in a traffic circle?" This seems like an easy question*, but when you've already gotten 2 questions wrong and literally can not afford to get this wrong and it's the first day you've ever looked at the book, it's a bummer. Luckily enough, I passed! Boom, I was not ready but the universe was.
When I was 18, I went skydiving. It was with 10 friends and we were 2.5 miles in the sky in a small plane with no door. I volunteered to jump last. When I got to the door with my professional sky-diver/giant foreign man, he said "Are you ready?!" And as I looked down through the clouds, I saw a lot of people I knew falling fast... very, very fast. So I answered honestly, "NO!" He then replied "Too late." and immediately pushed us out the door into the most unreal experience I have ever had. Not a regret to be had.
As you may be able to relate, college came pretty fast. I had always dreamt of living away at school but the days before it happened were still surreal. I cried. I smiled. I was again scared. But I met some of the most incredible people and had amazing experiences all because of the initial decision to move away. And here I am, 5 years later, anxious to get back to the town I fell in love with when I was a kid on her own for the first time.
So I could have taken the job at the cafe. Or I could take the leap, and hopefully build some wings on my way down.
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| Google Images Also, this is one of my favorite quotes. So I have used it in blogs before. |
*If it's not that easy, the answer is the cars already in the circle have the right of way. However, if you've ever driven in one... people really don't give a crap.
